


save tonight

by vulcanistics



Series: in search of [1]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Psychics/Psionics, Alternate Universe - The Raven Cycle Fusion, Clairvoyance, M/M, Magical Realism, Possible Character Death, Spirits, Thomas is Joshua's dad, Visions, mentions of death and dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 05:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16257272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcanistics/pseuds/vulcanistics
Summary: Joshua is sure of one thing — If he kisses his true love, they will die.A "The Raven Cycle" AU





	save tonight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meggiewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggiewrites/gifts).



> I once tagged a photoset of Julian Brandt as _#ghost boy_ and that lead to me wanting to write a Raven Cycle AU. The plan is to (hopefully) write more short fics and drabbles set in this universe because I have a lot of ideas and I have a vague idea of who is who. You don't have to have read The Raven Cycle to follow this story, but I'll still recommend reading that book for fun.
> 
> Meggie and Lu, thank you for being so enthusiastic about this fic and for motivating me to actually finish a fic!
> 
> Title is from Save Tonight by Eagle-Eyed Cherry.

Joshua doesn't really remember the last time Toni Kroos showed up at Adlerweg 144. It might have been for Joshua's thirteenth birthday, or maybe, for one of Mats’ birthday parties, or maybe, he had shown up for an Easter lunch and disappeared the next day. He does not have clear memories about his father's stepbrother, but he has seen Toni's face smile at him from the photos Thomas had hung up on the walls; and, despite not having seen Toni in years, he still remembers his piercing gaze – assessing, bored, judgemental and unnerving.

He finds that same gaze fixed on him when he swings open the door and finds Toni Kroos standing on the other side. Somewhere in the distance, Joshua hears the sound of a raven cawing. Toni must hear it too because he turns his face away from Joshua and looks out into the darkness of the street.

Joshua uses the break in eye-contact to study his step-uncle. He remembers the stories about Toni that Thomas had told him, remembers the slightest hint disapproval in his voice as he talked about his step-brother who moved to Spain and turned his psychic gifts into a business. He remembers Mats rolling his eyes and bemoaning Toni’s downfall at the ‘tempestuous hands of capitalism’ and he remembers Benni affectionately shaking his head at Mats.

The thing is, Toni Kroos is successful and recognised but he should be in Spain, not standing outside his front door. Joshua really cannot remember the last time he saw Toni at Adlerweg 144.

“Joshua,” Toni says, turning to look at him, the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Joshua smiles hesitantly, “Uncle Toni.”

Toni holds out his hands and Joshua recognises the unspoken request. He thinks of the incomplete math homework he had left to come to answer the doorbell. He sighs and turns his palms upwards and holds them out to Toni. He feels the hairs at the back of his neck stand up and he’s not sure if it’s the date – 29th October – or if it is the way Toni’s eyes seem to be digging into the deepest parts of his soul, searching for a map to the future, to Joshua’s future. He should be used to this, this feeling of being read, of seeing something that he does not know about yet, but apparently, growing up in a psychic household does not prevent one from feeling unnerved by Toni Kroos.

Toni’s hands are cold and Joshua feels a shiver run up his arms. He watches Toni bend his head to study his palms. He wonders if Toni will repeat the same prediction that has hung over Joshua’s head for the past eighteen years — _If Joshua kisses his true love, they will die_ — or if he’ll say something different and original.

Maybe he’ll predict the outcome of Joshua’s football game next week, or the answer to the math problem he had been working on.

Behind him, Joshua hears the sound of two pairs of approaching footsteps. He doesn’t need to turn around to know that Thomas and Mats are behind him.

“Toni,” Thomas breathes out, and Joshua hears the surprise in his father’s voice.  Huh, Toni hadn’t called ahead to say that he was coming home, then.

Toni lifts his gaze from Joshua’s hand and smiles at Thomas, sharp and amused, “I had a vision, which I just confirmed,” He pauses and looks at Joshua, “You’re going to fall in love this year.”

Joshua snatches his hands away from Toni like he’s been burned and he spins around to look at his father. Thomas’ mouth is pulled downward into an unhappy frown, a rare expression of displeasure from him. Mats looks as though he wants to comment on Toni’s prediction but Joshua shoots him a glare.

“And if they’re my true love, I can’t kiss them,” Joshua says, flatly.

Behind him, Toni steps into Adlerweg 144.

 

* * *

 

Flowers have sprung up from the graves – single stem roses, wildflowers plucked from the hedges – tokens of love left by the those that still remembered their dead. The wind bites at his ankles and Joshua shivers as he curls his fingers into the warm lining of the pockets of his sweatshirt. Joshua reads the names on the tombstones as he follows Toni to the centre of the cemetery. He wonders about the people who make the journey to this forgotten corner of the world to pay their respects to the dead.

Had he been born into any other family, Joshua doubts he would have made the annual trip to the abandoned church on the outskirts of the town. 

Ruined and overrun by wild ivy, the church, which was once dedicated to St. Christoph, and its adjoining cemetery, were surrounded by an atmosphere of the past, hidden behind paths that have been reforged and diverted, empty of life and ritual. Nobody went there anymore. Nobody, except for the few who were determined to stop their loved ones from fading to obscurity and the psychics of Adlerweg 144, apparently.

In front of him, Toni slows down to a stop, “Did you hear that?”

Joshua tilts his head and listens, even though he already knows that he won't be able to hear whatever it is Toni can hear. He hears the whistling wind, the rustle of the tree leaves, a dog yapping at its owner – but he cannot hear the things Toni, Thomas, Mats and Benni can hear. He doesn't have their gift of psychic perception and clairvoyance, he cannot reach out and greet a passing spirit, cannot predict the future, cannot discern a person's aura.

Joshua Kimmich is many things, but he's not a psychic.

He sighs and says, “You know I can't.”

Toni hums noncommittally before turning around to look at Joshua. His expression is blank but his eyes gleam under the bright moonlight. “You make everything louder though.”

Joshua's heard that before, it's his only gift, the one and only ability that he has. It’s his saving grace, preventing him from being too much of an anomaly in his psychic family. He remembers his father stroking his cheek and telling him that he made everyone around him better. Something about his energy amplified other people's psychic abilities and made the more capable, more perceptive. It's not the greatest gift in the world to have, but it's _something_.

He doesn't say anything to Toni and digs the toe of his shoe into the dry leaves under his feet, listening for a satisfying crunching sound.

He wishes Thomas was here instead of Toni. Church watch on the eve of Halloween was a simple task, but it was something Joshua did with his father. Thomas would stand and ask the names of the spirits that walked along the holy lines to the church and Joshua would write the names Thomas called out into his notebook. These were the names of the people who would die within that year and if Thomas recognised any of the names, if they were clients of Adlerweg 144, Thomas would tell them what he saw and give them the chance to be prepared and get their affairs in order.

Personally, Joshua has never been able to see the appeal of it. He has wondered though, wondered about what Thomas would do if he ever saw his own spirit, or Benni's or Mats’ or Joshua's walking towards him. Would he tell them that they were going to die? He'd asked him about it once, when they were sitting on the ground, waiting for the spirits to arrive. Thomas had paled and laughed nervously and hadn't said anything on the subject. Joshua had never brought it up again.

He glances towards the ruins of the church. Without Thomas around, the cemetery felt dangerous and creepy. Usually, his dad would have distracted him from getting too caught up in the eeriness of the night by narrating the strange situations he had found himself in as a teenager or by asking questions about Joshua's studies or by simply talking about nothing in particular. Toni is nice but he's quiet and doesn't fill the empty spaces with exuberance, and Joshua really wishes his Thomas had come along with them for the church watch.

“That big school on the way to town, Adalwin Academy? You go there?” Toni asks abruptly, snapping Joshua out of his thoughts.

Joshua frowns. Surely, Toni was being sarcastic. Did he seriously think the psychic services provided at Adlerweg 144 were enough to pay for an international private school?

He thinks about the students at Adalwin in their navy blue blazers with the raven emblem, proudly declaring their prestige and honour. He thinks of the last time his school had played against Adalwin. His team had somehow seemed _lesser_ compared to the boys from Adalwin, he closes his eyes and the faces of the Adalwin boys blur into each other till they are faceless individuals in navy blue jerseys. In the back of his mind, he watches Adalwin score and he hears their supporting contingent erupt with joy, their yells reverberating through the entire town. He tries but he cannot remember the name of the person who scored, perhaps, because the match was nearly a year ago.

“No, I go to public school. Adalwin is for rich kids with rich families and richer futures,” Joshua says, firmly.

He expects Toni to say something contrary or to pick at his statement but instead, Toni’s lets out a short bark of amused laughter. Suddenly, he tilts his head and peers into the distance. Joshua watches as his stance changes immediately, the muscles in his shoulders tightening and there’s the faintest of smiles on his lips.

Toni glances at him quickly and nods, “They’re here.”

The cemetery looks the same to Joshua, no unusual spirits walking the path of the holy lines, no blurred spots in the air, nothing that Joshua can see, anyway. Every year, every fucking year, Joshua hopes for something different to happen, hopes for his psychic abilities to come alive within him, but nothing changes. He flips open the notebook, the pages rustling in the wind, and starts writing out the names Toni calls out. It’s a mechanical process, the years of accompanying Thomas to the cemetery leave him adept at transcribing at a rapid pace.

He thinks he must be on the sixth page of names when he hears Toni cry out in alarm. “Hey, you! Excuse me, what is your name? You need to tell me your name!”

The emphatic urgency in Toni’s voice makes him lift his eyes from the notebook and he follows Toni’s gaze to see someone, a young man, stumbling past them. Joshua gasps and drops his pen and notebook to the floor.

He blindly grasps for Toni’s arm, wrapping his fingers tightly around his arm. “I see him,” Joshua murmurs in astonishment. “Toni, I can see him.”

The figure doesn’t react to Joshua’s words, meandering aimlessly down the pathway to the gate, and towards the church. He’s dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater, but his figure is hazy, his outlines bleeding into the murky darkness of the night. He moves forward hesitantly and Joshua is reminded of a lost and lonely child. Joshua’s fingers tremble, he cannot take his eyes away from the spirit. He’s afraid of blinking, afraid that the spirit will disappear and then the moment will have gone, just like that. 

The spirit turns his gaze towards them and Joshua chokes back a gasp at the unsettling emptiness of his face. There’s nothing distinct or special about his face, but Joshua can tell that he’s tall and young, possibly even around Joshua’s age. From their distance, Joshua sees the figure raise his hand to brush his fingers through the curls on his head. Joshua doesn’t know how Thomas does this, year after year. This spirit, this young man, is death, walking right past him.

Toni pushes him forward, “He isn’t responding to me, get his name, go. I’ll write down the others.”

He doesn’t give him the time to protest and Joshua finds himself tripping over pebbles and dried sticks as he follows the spirit.

“Hey,” Joshua calls out but the spirit doesn’t turn to him. 

Joshua pulls at the collar of his sweatshirt and looks over his shoulder to Toni, but the plea for help dies on his lips when he sees Toni scribbling names into Joshua’s notebook. He’s on his own then. All those years of hoping that he’d suddenly be able to see the spirits and now that it had happened, he’s helpless.

“Hey,” he tries again, reaching out his hand to grasp at the figure’s sweatshirt. His fingers curl around cold air and there’s nothing in his hand, but the spirit stops and looks at him finally. 

Up close, Joshua can see the shadows dancing across the spirit's face, obscuring any remaining resemblance to living humans. But the logo on his sweater is clear  – a raven. This was the spirit of an Adalwin boy who was going to die within the year.

“Will you tell me your name?” Joshua manages to ask, swallowing down the unease that wells up in his throat.

The spirit takes a few steps away from him, fumbling backwards up the steps to the church. Joshua’s hand drops to his side and he looks up at the spirit. “Your name, please?”

“Leon Goretzka,” the young man says finally. His voice is clear and strong, stronger than Joshua expects it to be, and it feels as though his voice echoes into the silence of the night.

“Leon,” Joshua repeats and watches as Leon falls to his knees in front of him. Startled, Joshua jerks backwards and suddenly, Toni is there, steadying him. The spirit crumbles and disintegrates before his eyes, and Joshua bites back a cry of horror as he watches Leon fade into nothingness.

“Toni,” Joshua chokes out, turning to his step-uncle with wide eyes. “Toni, I saw him. How could I have seen him?”

A clock strikes twelve, and Toni’s eyes shine in the darkness. “There are only two reasons a non-seer would see a spirit, Joshua. Either you’re his true love or you killed him.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Please do leave kudos, comments, and critique. Come talk to me and ask me questions about this AU on [tumblr.](https://www.kayhavertz.tumblr.com)


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